I have written about the tragedy of losing a young man in a car crash in "The Ides of March, Parts 1 & 2." However, there are parts of the story that have not been shared. It's time.
Most of us probably question our beliefs at times and I certainly get confused about "messages" and wonder if they're God-sent or my own self-will. But on that tragic night, a couple of things happened that I will never forget. In the time of crisis, tragedy, heart-break, and doubt, a very memorable event occurred; As memorable as each detail of the tragedy itself.
I received the frantic phone call at 11:35 p.m. from a mom. I was awake, and just ten minutes prior had moved the portable land line phone to my nightstand for no explained reason. What prompted that, is a whole different story that solidifies my beliefs. I'll save that one for later.
Since I couldn't understand what this frantic voice was saying, I just said, "I'm on my way, I'm on my way." Throwing on some clothes and rushing out the door, my thoughts were racing. The information I had was that there had been a car crash and one young man could not be located around the crash site. I knew that two of the kids didn't have life-threatening injuries. But what about the other one. We didn't even know exactly where the crash occurred. I just knew that I was going to pick up their mom, drive in the direction we believed they were, and pray.
I sped down 16th street to Chestnut and turned West. Although I was in heavy denial of some of the realities, the "missing" person in the crash was the driver. I know the statistics. As I am driving West on Chestnut, the cruel thought of losing him hit me hard. My denial tried to protect my emotional state, but the potential reality had starting creeping in my thoughts.
It was only about a month prior to this March night of 2004 that I had come to love the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercyme. It was played quite a bit on KJ103 and that was a station the kids listened to a lot. As I pulled to the stop sign at 10th and Chestnut, what comes on the radio? MERCYME. NO! Inasmuch as I believe many things are coincidental in which we attempt to give some greater meaning, this shook me up. I started to change the station, but couldn't. I had to hear it. At that moment, I started preparing myself for the worst. And on the other hand, my emotional range lead me to the words of the song.
The end result, one in fact had died. But, he lived! I don't know whether Tony danced, fell to his knees, or stood speechless. But I knew where he was. He met the criteria for this promised meeting. Knowing that, and hearing this great song at that particular time, reinforced my beliefs. I can't say it relieved the immediate pain, grief, sadness, and disbelief of the loss. But it gave me some peace, in time.
Coincidence or not? I don't know and I don't care. I know what I believe. I'm guessing he stood speechless in awe, then danced. Someday, I believe I will know.
